Dear licorice Jelly Bellys,
You are disgusting and you ruin everything.
Especially when you show up in a handful of your brothers in a dark movie theater.
Why do you exist? Who likes the taste of used tires and Windex?
You are the sleeper cells of Jelly Bellys, and god is sorry he made you.
Real Live Pokemon Discovered in Japanese Garden
… it’s the only logical explanation besides “a freaky radish”.
